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 Psychology of Aware Ego and Voice Dialogue

You can learn, through Voice Dialogue, to recognize your many selves, their strengths and their weaknesses, not only those few parts mentioned below, but many more. Learn and come to understand the role they play in your life, your personal growth and your relationships. 

Glossary of Terms

Protector/Controller - This self is the first of the primary selves to develop to protect the Vulnerable Child and to control the child's behavior in an effort to gain whatever love and approval is available from those around the child.

Primary Selves System - This consists of the Protector/Controller and the selves (e.g., Critic, Pusher, Pleasers, Rule Maker) that it brought into the world to protect the child and to support its aims and aspirations. This system sets the tone and value structure of the personality. Models such as Wegsceider-Cruse's of the Hero Child, Scapegoat, Lost Child and Mascot would be descriptive for Primary Selves Systems. There can be the initial Primary Selves System and the current primary selves system, e.g. and original conservative system and a current liberal "New Age" one.

Disowned Selves - These are the selves that represent the opposite value structure from the primary selves, and they had to be rejected or disowned in the growing up process.

Acting/Operating Ego - This is an Ego that's identified with the primary Selves System. This identification can shift throughout one's life time. At the age of 25, one may still be identified with the original selves that might be conservative in the sense of "keep a smile on your face:" "don't let anyone see you crying". After a few years in a recovery program, this Ego may become identified with a "New Age" Protector/Controller that values, "Letting it all hang out". Often the original Primary Selves System becomes the Disowned Selves.

Aware Ego - An ego that exists separately from the selves we have identified with and acknowledges those selves which we have disowned. This is an Ego that can hold the tension of the opposites. This is a hallmark in the process of individuation and the evolution of Consciousness and enables us to make choices.

The Pleaser - Pleases people, from a baby's first smile that makes parents shout with glee, to the mother who tries sometimes too hard and to her own detriment to please her husband and family, friends and associates.

The Pusher - Helps us to progress in the world, mentally, physically and financially. The workaholic has a Pusher that forces him to achieve regardless of the effects on those around him.

The Perfectionist - Is the Self that makes sure we do everything perfect and often has our father or mother as a teacher. In partnership with the Pusher, the Perfectionist can be extremely strong and make us into a "blind" Workaholic.

The Critic - Watches everything we do or say and advises us to do this or that. But the too powerful Critic can keep us from doing things we want to by making us feel inadequate or incapable. The Critic, focusing on others becomes the judge.

The Inner Child - The playful child knows how to play like any child knows how to play. The Magical Child is child of imagination and fantasy. The Vulnerable Child holds the hurts of our lifetime. The Inner Child is often disowned but these parts like all parts, call for recognition and ownership.

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